This post is an extract from Lorelou Desjardins’ new book, . It packs 55 chapters on (almost) everything one needs to know about Norwegians, and will give you some tips on what makes Norwegians tick and how to understand them. The book is available on and in Norway ( and ).

This structure isn’t written anywhere, but every Norwegian seems to know it by heart. If you're new to Norway and get invited to a party, consider this your unofficial survival guide.

Act I: ‘Vorspiel'

The evening always begins at someone’s home. This part is called vorspiel, or simply vors. While it borrows its name from the German word for “foreplay,” don’t be misled: in Norway, it’s entirely about alcohol.

Specifically, drinking at home with friends before going out, ideally with alcohol bought from Vinmonopolet (the state-run liquor store) or the duty-free shop at the airport. Or Systembolaget in Sweden after a Harrytur. 

The idea is logical enough: alcohol is notoriously expensive in Norway, so people drink heavily at home to avoid spending a fortune at the bar. But here's the paradox: despite this frugal strategy, the evening rarely turns out cheap.

Vors typically involve lots of drinks, snacks, music, and often intense debates about politics, climate change, or who should have won Melodi Grand Prix (Norway’s Eurovision qualifier).

By the time people head out around midnight, they’re already well on their way to being drunk, if not fully there.

Act II: The Main Party

Just before midnight, like clockwork, Norwegians begin lining up outside bars and clubs.

If you walk through the center of any Norwegian city at 11:45 p.m., you’ll witness it: high heels wobbling, puffer jackets over party dresses, and a quiet determination to “make the most of it.” By midnight, the city’s nightlife pulses into gear.

Queues form in front of popular bars (sometimes the one and only in small towns) and even when it’s really cold, women are in light dresses and men in t-shirts. Speaking loudly and making friends with strangers. Enjoy, this friendliness won’t survive the weekend.

This is the “public” portion of the evening, but it’s also where the original money-saving plan falls apart. Once they get in the bar, all cards are open. Now that everyone is already tipsy, they’re much less careful with their spending.

Beers are ordered in rounds, cocktails appear out of nowhere, and someone will inevitably declare that shots are a great idea. Prices? Irrelevant. Bank accounts? Forgotten. 

This is the time when people look at each other to plan for the next act, in case you want to find an intimate company for the rest of the night. Because bars close “early” in Norway so planning is key!

Couples in formation stare at each other from each corner of the bar, hoping to meet again outside once the bell for the last drink has rung.

Act III: ‘Nachspiel'

Norwegians are not allowed to party until dawn, at least not in a public place. At 3 a.m. (or earlier, depending on local laws), the music cuts off, the lights switch on, and bartenders start herding everyone out. No exceptions. 

But here’s the twist: the night isn’t over.

This is where the nachspiel begins, the mysterious, unplanned after-party. Unlike vors, which is organized and predictable, organised with friends. Nachspiel is spontaneous and full of surprises. 

Before that, though, there’s the mandatory greasy food stop. In Norway, this usually means kebab. You’ll see long queues outside late-night kebab shops. It’s delicious, it’s messy, and it might save you from a brutal hangover.

From there, people either catch a taxi (another major expense, especially if someone vomits, since Norwegian taxis charge a clean-up fee) or wander the icy streets getting to the nachspiel.

Nachspiels can be anything and anywhere. Sometimes a friend of a friend offers their apartment for a planned party, they lure you in with beer they stacked for the occasion (because of course since bars are closed and Vinmonopolet closed 12 hours ago, there is no legal alcohol to be bought anywhere).

Sometimes you end up in a tiny student flat with three guitars and zero food. Other times, it’s just you and one other person sharing a pizza and your deepest secrets, knowing you’ll never mention it again.

Other times you end up in someone’s bed, for a one-night-stand you probably won’t remember either. 

The night winds down in dimly lit kitchens, with the last beers disappearing and people disappearing with the night buses, or sleeping somewhere on a rug until the first metro runs.

Final Notes (That You Won’t Find in Any Tourist Guide)

1. Nachspiel etiquette is simple: You can leave whenever you want, without explanation. No need to say goodbye or thank the host, ghosting is standard practice.

2. What happens at nachspiel stays at nachspiel. If you partied with someone on Saturday and see them at the office Monday morning? Or slept with a someone you knew? You don’t mention it. At most, you offer a polite nod and pretend you weren’t both in the most intimate conversation (or more) at 4.a.m. 

3. Don’t be shocked if no one talks to you at the bar but becomes your best friend at 2:45 a.m. Alcohol works slowly but steadily in Norway, and the nachspiel is where real bonding, or questionable decisions, take place.

This post is an extract from Lorelou Desjardins’ new book, . It packs 55 chapters on (almost) everything one needs to know about Norwegians, and will give you some tips on what makes Norwegians tick and how to understand them. The book is available on and in Norway ( and ).

So if you're in Norway and someone asks, “Vil du bli med på vors?”, know that you’re not just being invited for a drink. You’re being welcomed into a full theatrical performance, with an unpredictable final act. Skål, and good luck.

The post How to Party Like a Norwegian appeared first on 51łÔąĎÍř.

Lorelou Desjardins is the author of the blog and book, A Frog in the Fjord: One Year in Norway. The book is available in English, Norwegian and French. Buy a signed copy  directly from the author or a regular copy on . Lorelou was also a two-time guest on our podcast, the 51łÔąĎÍř Show. If you enjoy this post, listen to this episode about her first year in Norway.

Oulala, Hallo Hallo, Baguette.

Paris is a two hour flight away from Oslo, yet there seems to be more than the North Sea between France and Norway. Sure, France and Norway are both Western European countries, with pieces of a common history, and seen from countries outside of Europe they are still pretty similar.

But from my experience, there is in an ocean of differences and misunderstandings between the French and the Norwegians.

How is it to be French in Norway? What are the greatest cultural shocks? I am French, am born in Paris and grew up in Marseille, and I have lived in Norway for almost 14 years. Here are the biggest differences I've spotted.

The food culture

It's safe to say French people aren't the only ones who feel the cultural difference when it comes to food. Truth be told, anyone from Mexico to India is usually pretty shocked to find out what Norwegians eat every day. Spoiler alert: lots of bread.

In France we eat two warm meals per day, at lunch and dinner. Norwegians eat a lot of cold meals, with little variation from a French perspective. We’d have warm meals with rice, pasta, different kinds of vegetables, a sauce, a salad etc.

But Norwegians eat up to four meals a day made of bread. Think about it: a breakfast made of bread and cheese/other pĂĄlegg. Lunch with bread and more savoury pĂĄlegg. Sometimes a warm dinner but not always, and “kveldsmat” made of…bread and pĂĄlegg of course!

And sure, French people eat bread too, but the bread for us is not an actual meal. It’s to have cheese on after you’ve eaten your actual lunch, not a staple food to survive the winter. 

Another shock is the amount of processed food Norwegians eat on a daily basis. I've heard Norwegians tell me they don't have time to cook, which is the reason they eat so much food coming from bags (Toro soups for example), from cardboard boxes (Grandiosa frozen pizza) or meatballs from a plastic box. They even give that .

Of course another cultural shock is the time of the day Norwegians eat lunch and dinner. Lunch can be as early as 11am in offices. Dinner can be as early as 3pm, or 4-5pm when they leave work. That is not even apéritif time in France.

The drinking culture

French people drink alcohol, no doubt. Norwegians do too, and you could then think this brings us together. It doesn't, because our drinking cultures are different.

What is the difference? Simple. In Norway, socialising happens around alcohol whereas in France socialising happens around food. Sure, alcohol is there too, but the main focus is food. We can spend hours at a dinner table chatting, eating and drinking.

At Norwegian parties, the food is what gets least focus, but when people start drinking, that is when the party starts. Unless it's Christmas Eve, Norwegians don't really see the point of spending more than 30 minutes at a dinner table. And then those are their closest family members.

Why would they put themselves through such a long dinner with sober “friends”? .

Due to all this, a very strange thing used to happen to me. I was invited to a party at 7pm or even 6pm and expected food to be served. In addition I was expected to bring my own alcohol.

Those years were tough but now I know: if invited anytime after 5pm I am expected to have had dinner, and of course I need to bring my own drinks.

Socialising

The way to make friends in Norway and in France is very different. In France I'd say it is less formal, less organised, and surprisingly more cosy–or koselig as Norwegians like to call everything and anything.

How do you make friends in Norway when socialising happens around alcohol rather than food? You drink. Norwegians will loosen up when they are drunk, and they expect you to do the same. But are those koselig evenings? It depends if you know the people from before.

The issue here is that those Norwegian people you meet when drunk aren't necessarily people who will become your best friends, unless you know them from some other context such as university or an activity of some sort.

Those you just meet when drunk might not even say hello the next day when meeting you in the street. However, if you meet people regularly in activities or uni or even at work, and then get drunk together for example at a julebord, that will strengthen the bond between you.

Another difference is that Norwegians rarely invite people to their house. After meeting new friends, the French will quickly invite them for dinner, coffee, a birthday or anything else. French people will easily invite you into their home even though they might not know you that much.

In Norway being invited into someone's home is almost mission impossible. The only way to get in someone's home for sure is to buy something from them on Finn.no. Even that's not entirely true, since they can also leave the things you bought at the door. And now with Vipps you don't even need to meet them in person! How practical 🙂

Being arrogant

Another huge difference is how socially unacceptable it is in Norway to be arrogant vs. in France. In Norway, social laws of Janteloven make sure everyone stays in their place.

In Norway you cannot just say out loud how smart you think you are, how much money you have, and which elite schools you've been to to impress the crowd.

In France on the other hand, the national sport is to  with all the knowledge you have, the great schools you've been to and the impressive CV you've built that makes you better than everyone else.

Bragging in Norway will get you bad vibes from the locals, even if everything you say is true. Just observe the Ingebrigtsen brothers when they win a race. They don't brag and say they are the best, they say “I could have not managed without my team, my wife, my trainer etc. It was so hard to train in the winter, I am so lucky to have won”.

But beware, although Norwegians don't brag openly, they still do it in other ways. It is just much less visible than when French people do it. It is just that if you do it the French way it's not going to go too well for you socially or at work.

The flat structure

Hierarchy is pretty important in France. This is something you learn as a young child. Your parents and teachers are above you and on top of the hierarchy of your life as a child. Then come other adults around, even those you don't know.

Parents and teachers, who are above all, decide what you wear, what you say, where you sleep and what you are allowed and not allowed to do.

When at school this hierarchy continues, as even in high school pupils use the “vous” of politeness for teachers, we don't even know their first name and we call them “madame” and “monsieur” (mrs. and sir). In Norway, you can challenge adults, your parents and your teachers alike. This is very surprising for a French person.

When I was on Lindmo with Jonas Gahr Støre, he said that the biggest shock for him when he went to study in France was that when he asked a question to the professor and said “I'm sorry there is something I don't understand”, the professor said “No, there are many many things you don't understand”.

Arrogance AND Hierarchy in the same answer. Yep, French people in a nutshell.

In Norway children are encouraged to raise their hand in class, challenge what the teachers say, and think by themselves. Later in life, at work, they expect a flat structure between them and their leaders with inclusive processes where compromise is important.

Gender equality

Gender equality is also a big difference, from a long paternity and maternity leave to what kind of 

In France mothers get 2.5 months of maternity leave, and it’s not paid 100% of your salary. Fathers used to get 11 days and recently that was taken up to one month. In Norway, partners share roughly one year of parental leave.

Strangely enough, French employers talk about women on maternity leave as if it meant they were leaving for eternity and abandoning their job, when there are in fact gone very little time.

On the contrary in Norway, they just hire a replacement and know that the mum will be back at some point between 6 and 11 months. Many take unpaid leave too. But it does not stress any employer, it is just part of the deal when you hire anyone from the age of 25 to 45. 

In France employers are still known for asking women whether they will have kids soon during interviews, and many women around 30 have a hard time finding a job.

But new generations are changing things around. It is more trendy for men to want to take care of their small children, and hopefully misogyny is not accepted to the same level now since #metoo.

Conflict

Last but not least, French and Norwegian people do not have the same way to manage conflict. In France I'd say conflict is part of life. People argue quite a bit, and raising your voice is seen as pretty normal.

In Norway, and this will also vary on the culture of the region you are located in, open conflict is seen as something to avoid at all cost. Conflicts are there, but hidden somehow, and people deal with them by either ignoring the person, crying, quitting (in a job), being on sick leave (also in a job) etc. Talking about things that aren't going so well openly is not an option.

Also, an interesting point I think is that what qualifies as a conflict is very different from one culture to another. In Norway conflict can be smelled as soon as someone raises their voice or shows they don't agree, whereas in France and many other countries that is just a Tuesday at the office.

Lorelou Desjardins is the author of the blog and book, A Frog in the Fjord: One Year in Norway. The book is available in English, Norwegian and French. Buy a signed copy  directly from the author or a regular copy on . Lorelou was also a two-time guest on our podcast, the 51łÔąĎÍř Show. If you enjoy this post, listen to this episode about her first year in Norway.

Maybe you've lived in France or you are French yourself. Do you agree with my list? Did I forget anything?

The post How To Be French In Norway appeared first on 51łÔąĎÍř.

Lorelou Desjardins from A Frog in the Fjord returns to 51łÔąĎÍř to give us the lowdown on how the coronavirus has affected dating life in Norway, and what might happen next…

Let's face it, dating in Norway was not that easy to begin with. The tall masculine yet sensitive-looking guys with well trimmed beards, muscles and long blond hair you fantasised on hardly exist in real life.

Except for this guy  who personifies everything about the  these days.

The tall blond Scandinavian women you imagined sun bathing their long blond hair in parks and looking at you with their icy blue eyes and whispering “You look so strong” are actually saying “This is not going to work, you are too short”.

Yep, reality hits you in the face when moving to Norway: if you are into men, you find out quickly enough that however pretty you might find them, they are not from the same dating culture (call it Latin culture, traditional or just macho culture). That means most of them will not make the effort to come and talk to you, try to seduce you or even fight for you.

As a Norwegian girlfriend once suggested to me, when I was waiting for a guy to call me back after we had met a couple of times: Why don't you show up at his apartment with lingerie on, a video game and a pizza.

Coronavirus in Norway: The Latest News on the COVID-19 Outbreak

That is when I realised how abysmal the gap was between the Norwegian dating culture and my own. In my mind HE was supposed to show up at my door with flowers and chocolates promising me the moon and the stars.

Equality

That is one of the basic principles to dating a Norwegian: equality on your way to the bedroom, which I once called “inversion of roles” in my blogpost . I have talked to many Norwegian men over the years, asking them why it is so hard to reach out to them.

Their answer is that it isn't that hard, and that they don't want to be harassing women, let alone look like a predator. So they let women come to them, and show them whether they like them.

Let me tell you, in times of a pandemic, showing up unexpected with pizza or flowers is not something anyone mentally healthy will do. Unless you leave it at the door, with gloves, and leave before the person has opened the door. Hopes of romance just decreased by 97% for you and increased by 60% for that Norwegian's next door neighbour.

If you are into women, you soon realise that equality means a woman can come up to you unapologetically and ask for your number, sleep with you and then never answer your calls again. It is called sexual liberation, it means we can also do whatever the hell we want with whoever they want without feeling guilt or shame.

Alcohol

Mind you, there is a lot of shame going on in Norway, also when getting to the bedroom (and out of it). This is where the second principle comes into play: alcohol.

Another problem that just became even worse because of the coronavirus crisis: shortage of alcohol. Alcohol is extremely important in hooking up with a Norwegian because it enables them to losen up and make themselves believe that whatever happens next can be excused by alcohol.

Listen: 51łÔąĎÍř Show – A Frog in the Fjord

Oslo city has forbidden the sale of alcohol due to the pandemic. But smile, because alcohol sales will be allowed again soon with limited opening hours.

Eye contact

The last basic principle of dating a Norwegian, eye contact, for example in a bar, is however maintained and definitely encouraged during a pandemic. Eye contact will not make you catch the virus. The only issue is what comes after 2 hours of eye contact when we aren't supposed to get closer than one meter to people who aren't from our household?

Not much comes next I believe. Even if one of you gathers enough courage to go talk to the other person, the bar owner will come and tell you to keep your distance while offering you another cup of tea. You might as well stay home.

How it might get better

And it is actually at home where the pandemic might help you date a Norwegian. Dating apps are burning of higher usage these days because people are home, bored and confined. Single people especially, who are used to meeting friends, lovers and leading their busy lives, are suddenly faced with the risk of feeling lonely with all their cancelled plans.

So here I come dating apps. Problem being, we cannot meet. The tension gets even bigger and more interesting until we eventually can meet, or until one of us breaks the rule and meets anyway, in one of our homes, secretly (my God, love in time of the pandemic is even more exciting that during regular times).

Read more: Are Norwegians Rude?

The risk here: everyone has so much time on their hands that they talk to many different women/men and you might therefore not be that special to them. But the advantage: Norwegians who are usually so annoyingly busy and avoiding after meeting once or twice, could be suddenly a bit more clingy.

And imagine how romantic, when asked the question “How did you guys meet? – Oh well, during the Corona crisis, we were quarantined together, a magical moment where we felt outside of the world”.

Second path to explore: waiting for alcohol sale to be legal again in Oslo, or alternatively if you live outside of Oslo, waiting for everyone to be able to go out again and mingle. That will coincide with the good weather, which is already making Norwegians go crazy (it is called vĂĄryr in Norwegian, “horny in the Spring”).

The excruciating time that led to this moment of freedom, which is a mix of the Norwegian winter added to the pandemic  will do miracles for your sex life, I am sure.

Third path to explore: this summer, we probably won't be allowed or at least encouraged to travel abroad for the summer vacation. This means that for once there will be hot Norwegians everywhere in the country enjoying the sun in Norway (if it shows up) rather than in Thailand or Spain.

Endless possibilities to meet Norwegians, that is if the DNT cabins reopen and one can go hiking. If not, then they will all run to their own cabins without inviting your sorry foreign ass, and I guess you will have to find them in parks in cities or on those dating apps.

The scary part here is that when one sees with STDs, one can only imagine how carefree they will be with the coronavirus when hooking up. Chlamydia infection rate is high in Norway, and people don't protect themselves enough from STDs. So when the time comes, have fun, but please, protect yourself!

Read more from at

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